& daisies velvet purple roses rubies diamonds fell all around us in a slow motion time laps blur lost in a flashback dream lost in the cool sweet heat of the present moment no need for words her eyes gleaming bright dark sparkling falling into baby pale sky blue passion streaming down our faces…

this is pretty much all that matters to me right now, I can’t get down with the cryptic bullshit anymore, or kill myself over figuring out why everything went wrong, all I know is I got my ass handed to me & my heart smashed into a million pieces & I know I didn’t deserve to be treated in that fashion. I am somebody, I am a good person, I am valid & loved. & as much as I loved everything about us & what was supposed to be prior is as much as I wish it never happened, I suppose I will write a poem writing out either I or my just past love or it being about something that happened in a dream & waking up in the love that I have now & being grateful that I awoke. The sad part about that idea is that I was madly in love with you & didn’t want to wake up, but that wasn’t my choice after all was it. yes I am sure I must seem like a total asshole to most or maybe some. I have not been hurt this bad by someone else ever, we all have the right to write about how we feel don’t we? I know there are at least a couple people who still care out there, very grateful for you, thank you…I am letting go it’s taken me over two months to get through this shit. I am happy I have someone to be with at the moment, I hope this is & stays & grows, right now love is again in my life & it is nice….& right now that is good enough for the two of us…..hotdreamz 7/27/14